Testimonials
| Testimonials |
From FrankieG on the "Gamblersaloud" addressHi Phil,
I have just completed your fantastic book, what a great read ! I think its the first time I have read such an insighful and accurate description of the madness that is compulsive gambling. I can say I related to (and have personally been through) 99% of the horrific 'gambling coma' that is so well portrayed in the book.
I think your system, 'GamblersAloud' is both innovative and realistic, it is easy to understand and follow. One chapter stood out for me personally, 'The Importance of humilty and compassion'. You touched on a couple of topics which I also think are key components to recovery, the gamblers new relationship with money and helping others or giving time to others to help the healing process 8th March 2013 Update from Richard (previous email sent on 3rd August 2012)Hi Phil, Hope your well?
Just thought I'd drop you a line to update you on my progress and say keep up the great work at GRASP. Still gamble free - now just over 8 months since my last gamble and I'm feeling very positive about myself and the future. Whilst its still going to take me another 18 months to pay my debts I'm now seeing them reduce each month instead of taking one step forward and two steps backward as I was previously when gambling. Personal email received 09/01/2013 - Certain details whitheld.I’m touching base after reading your excellent book and working with Sheldon on a bespoke depression and anxiety book for our members.
We have a number of problematic gamblers amongst our 4,000 strong membership and we’re about to launch an online tutorial which will feature one of them in particular. ‘Our man’, whom I can’t name at the moment....read your book and said that after a 20 year history and a series of attempts to rid himself of problems, that it’s the most practical advice he’s seen. Richard, Gamblersaloud website 3rd August 2012Dear Phil, I wanted to drop you a line to thank you for your email and actually writing the book. I actually stumbled across your site and the book by chance really when 'googling' gambling sites one evening having had a week of heavy gambling losses. I decided to buy the book and as previously advised upon reading the first few pages related to it so much and shed a lot of tears. That was nearly 5 weeks ago and I have since finished the book and in the process have opened up to my girlfriend, mum, step dad, sister and best friend about my addiction and as part of that process wrote my gambling diary and the 4 signposts. I know the road is going to long and hard but I am feeling better about myself already and am determined to make a better life for me and my partner who is now expecting our first child. I've not had any real urges yet but do often look at my four signposts to remind me of where my old ways took me. One thing I did do was actually prepare myself two business sized cards which live in my wallet. The first is my lost time to gambling sign post and the other my hopeless gambler reminder and I have found these a good thing. It is my intention that if I ever do get a urge when out and about to visit the bookmakers that I will have these to hand and will remind myself instead of reaching for my cash card. Regards Richard John via Gamblersaloud Website 26 July 2012Hi Phil I bought your book over a month ago and I have to say its fantastic,im so glad i bought it. Although im only 32 ive been compulsive gambling for as long as i can remember and i just couldnt find a way out. Im four weeks into not having a bet and feel strong. I do get urges i wouldnt lie but ive hurt myself so bad when i gamble that i dont want to do it again. I've got myself a coin i carry around with me and i take it everywhere,it is a constant reminder of my past and future heads and tails. Just over a year ago i won over £20,000 betting online on horses and dogs. I was that confident i had cracked it that i was going to quit my job! Good job i never as in one night betting dogs i was £14,000 down then lost the rest two days later.The thing is i thought if i could win that sort of money once i could do it again,but you know Phil it doesnt and ive biten like hell due to it. Im owing £3,000 but its pay day tomorrow and im paying back £500,im living on bread and butter at the mo. £30 a week while it gets paid off. Its now where you see the damage its done,but im strong and im so happy with myself with the help of your book which i keep reading i will conquer my illness Thanks again Phil Energised Gamcare Forum 31/05/2012In the book I recently finnished, it suggested carrying a 'chip' around with you at all times. This can be any special coin, token or item, ideally something smallish but with meaning to you. It reminds you of your new commitment to not gamble and reminds you of the sensible decisions you make when you're really thinking clearly and positively. You could look at this object and maybe fiddle with it while you are talking/reading/thinking about stopping gambling, so it is almost infused with your positive thoughts. I didn't go this far (in fact I practicly invented that last bit on the spot) but it immediately sounded like a good idea and I knew what I would use. I had an old New Zealand coin I found and never had a use for. Now its in my wallet at all time next to my debit-card. Every time I look in my wallet for any reason I'm now reminded of my fresh start and good intentions, and of the fact that I'm a problem gambler in the very early stage of one of many attempts to quit forever. Writing this has just reminded me that one of my biggest problems was that I used to kid myself everything was ok. As soon as I had a hundred pounts in my wallet and hadn't gambled for a few days (because I had ran out of money) I told myself everything was fine - I had money and I wasn't a problem gambler! Sarah M via GamblersAloud EmailWe have both found you're book very helpful, it was great for me as we don't have any sort of partners support in ........... that I can access apart from counselling, which is not what I want at the moment. I had to leave the Gamcare forum. It was too full of misery and I felt it was making me feel pessimistic about our chances of recovery. I think it is important to know some people make it through and stop gambling & manage to rebuild their lives. I like your book particularly as I can't get my head round the notion of any sort of higher power. It is a real stumbling block for me with GA. I have really tried to think of it in a way that I can understand and relate to it but i find this part of the 12 step programme utterly meaningless, which feels problematic as it is the fundamental element to following it, I think. I remain angry that gambling took my husband and money from me but happy that he is back. Thank you for your book, it eloquently expresses what the partner & the gambler go through and need to do together to enable recovery. Thanks for your support. Best wishes, Sarah Bushy on Gamcare Forum 18th June 2012Hi, I came on here for help a few weeks ago when I discovered my husband is a compulsive gambler. Unfortunately, my husband deleted my threads! While I was here getting help I came across a link to Phil Mawer's book, Overcoming Gambling. I purchased this book and have been reading it ever since to try and help me understand - from both sides. This has been invaluable to me and in fact it was Phil and his book that led me to look deeper into what was going on. To cut a long story slightly shorter. I have now discovered that my husband first gambled again almost exactly 2 years ago - i.e. when his father died. Phil's book and help within has been invaluable. I had no comprehension of addiction of any kind and truly never thought I would be affected by it, I thought my husband was 'cured' long before I met him. Given my husbands unwillingness to be open, I had no way of gaining any understanding which is what I desperately needed to get through the days, this book and subsequently Phil himself, gave me the tools I desperately needed to understand and cope, emotionally and practically and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone, spouse or compulsive gambler. Bushy SaraM on GRASP Forum 3rd June 2012I purchased Phil Mawer's book and have been reading it ever since to try and help me understand - from both sides. This has been invaluable to me and in fact it was Phil and his book that led me to look deeper into what was going on. To cut a long story slightly shorter. I have now discovered that my husband first gambled again almost exactly 2 years ago - i.e. when his father died. I know you already know how much your book has helped along with the time you've given me offline. I had no comprehension of addiction of any kind and truly never thought I would be affected by it, I thought my husband was 'cured' long before I met him. Given my husbands current unwillingness to be open, I had no way of gaining any understanding which is what I desperately needed to get through the days, your book and subsequently you, have given me the tools I desperately needed to understand and cope, emotionally and practically and I would wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone, spouse or compulsive gambler. Pink1801 on Gamcare Forum 9th March 2012Before starting the book I had heard so many comments on how good and how much it helped people but as always you cant believe every thing you read but I must say it didn't disappoint me. As I started off reading, I connected very quickly on why I had to stop gambling. Phils words were so right. I wont lie in some places it was hard for me to read and sometimes I got a little mad but after thinking through and talking it over with my husband I soon realised what Phil had wrote was right and I didn't even look at it in that way before which hit me really bad and I got quite upset but I knew it was down to me to change the way I had been and treated so many people. Phil shares with you his steps on how he did it and some I had already done some were new to me so will be putting them into practice. He has the way to show you that yes you have done this but you want to change and you can change the way you live the rest of your life. Phil talks through each step tells you why its important and what it will do. My final thought on this book is before I read it I thought I was recovering and starting to get on with my new life but the book showed me things I didn't even think about and made me look at my recovery in a new light. Yes it was hard going back to all them feelings or hurt and disappointment but I think you need to deal with all this before you can start to move on and I can honestly say that I am starting to move on. I would like to thank Phil for sending me your book (your act of kindness for the week ) and I would suggest anybody that is thinking of buying the book to do so because I can see me having this book for a very long time I have put it in my ex gambling box with my list and items of things that I get out when I get the urge and it takes me right back to where I was and where I never want to be again Many thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this and I hoped it has helped a little in knowing that you are not alone
Iamfree Gamcare Forum 3rd March 2012Hi, I've been where you've been. I stopped for 4 months twice and for no reason walked straight back into the bookies. I tried many things but what worked for me the most was reading a book called 'Overcoming gambling' by Phil Mawer. Best money i ever spent. It's from an ex compulsive gambler so he knows what he's talking about. Try a GA meeting, get blocks on your computer, self-exclude but NEVER stop trying to beat this! You will get there in the end. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again my friend! Kim, Gamcare Forum 23rd Feb 2012Hey Phil just a quick line to say thanks :) I lent your book to someone who came into my place of work, whom in turn passed it onto someone else ...... they both got a pin at GA tonight :) Im so so sorry for what this addiction has cost you, but know that out of bad has to come some good .? Thanks again Phil you HAVE made a difference.:) Beauchamp on Gamcare Forum 14th Feb 2012Hi Deeds, Just finished your book this afternoon, while listening to music. Your own storey should be enough to make any CG give up, however the book is a great tool for the recovery process and I will keep refering to the book for inspiration. Thank you for writing this book and I hope in some small way I can give back to society. Gamcare Forum 13th Feb 2012This isn't the first time i've posted about how great this book is. I would sit in the park during the summer months of 2011 reading and taking notes. I was at rock bottom and was desperate for inspiration and advice. I had tried many avenues but this book made me realise how I could stop. It's only been 5 months but i feel that gambling is no longer a threat. Since then i can feel day by day my old personality coming back. I no longer feel agitated, fed up and withdrawn, instead i'm starting to live my life at last. So many things have been put off due to gambling. I found myself at the age of 35 with 1 friend, no hobbies, no partner or family and of course no money and debt. It was a very dark place. Since then i'm concentrating on the many areas of my life that are lacking. We are impatient as gamblers but there is no other way than be patient and slowly i can feel my life coming back to me. I'm sure this will resonate with cgs here. i felt that this book was like an angel telling me how i could best this. It is so personal. I know i'm a soppy sod but that's how I felt. I have the book in my drawer and I will never throw it away. Stichb on Gamcare 8th December 2011I read this book just yesterday and I don't know how or why but it has made me feel less ashamed of my gambling. I immediately got in touch with my niece who lives away and told her I would come over on Tues after Christmas, thus avoiding Welsh National day, and cancelled ** ***. Early steps but 2012 will be a different year to what I have known all my adult life.Thank you for this book. Canterburymale Gamcare 6th December 2011Deeds I'm so sorry about your wife. I'm certain that your book has helped so many people. It really inspired me in a way that G.A or other books didn't. Of course G.A works for for so many people but not me. I keep going back to your book because the words felt like they had been written by an angel just for me. It is powerful stuff. I thought that the depression I was suffering from would subside but this hasn't been the case. But when I'm down I get a huge boost from the fact that I'm 3 months without a bet. I feel so determined never to gamble again. I hope i can beat the blues too and maybe I could become a counsellor to help other people stop this madness.
Canterburymale Gamcare site 7th September 2011I've been on here before telling everyone how great Deeds-Overcoming Gambling is. I'm not related to him or taking a cut lol but I've read other useful books that I've just thrown to one side. This one i feel was written for me. I have been so down for the past month after trying and failing to quit gambling. To be honest I've been like this for years now. Deeds puts it into words that are so encouraging and i feel hopeful and even excited about a better future if i can be mature enough to make a change. Gambling is just that, immature and irresponsible. It has brought me to my knees many times. Last month i was contemplating how to kill myself. I'd just had enough. So is there room for something in my life that is destroying me? No. By Stevie GRASP Forum 10th August 2011I started off on the New Statesman website and bought and recommended Phil's book to the people over there. Well done with the 5 years stopped. This is something that I am aiming for as well and beyond. I must say that since I started reading the book I have found it much easier this time around. I am building up an anger towards the industry that I never had before and I think that is a big reason why I never had the resolve to stop in the past. Anger is good if used constructively and this is what I am doing. Counting all the money I have lost over the years and thinking what good I could have done in my own life has really opened my eyes. By Stevie, 08 August 2011 at 15:03 New Statesman NewspaperI am reading a chapter a day and it is making me see my gambling in a whole new light. The part that really spoke to me was the chapter that discussed the animal welfare aspects of the industry. I have always prided myself on being an animal lover and when you see the statistics on the number of deaths involving horses and dogs it really hit home to me. This is just something I can no longer be involved with. Maybe if you do a reprint of your book you could devote a chapter to these FOBTs because i think it is this side of the industry that has the potential to do the most damage to people's lives. By Rodger, 08 August 2011 at 15:50 New Statesman NewspaperHi Phil, I have bought your book also, which I am reading at the moment and I am finding it helpful, as I stated, a couple of weeks ago, I put 2400 pounds in one machine and I haven't been in a betting shop since. By Paul, 08 August 2011 at 16:53 New Statesman NewspaperHi Phil I bought the book too and have read it and it helped me a lot especially the chip of change thing and the ladder. Also sitting in the chair looking at scenarios, and the animal welfare too made me think. I’m on the GA site everyday but I see what you mean about doing it without meetings. I lost a lot recently on the FOTB £4 k in a few weeks, it really scared me and I have vowed never to go back I hate the places. By Andrew, via Gamblersaloud email - 4th August 2011Philip thanks I got the book, I started to read it and I did not put it down until I had read it all, I thought I was reading about myself, its a brilliant read and I think its the answer to my problems, I am wiser for the book and stronger, I am a winner now I've put this dirty little habit behind me,....................... Philip, I am just on my way to a charity shop to donate a small amount,thanks again for curing me.
By Anne, GRASP (Gambling Reform and Society Perception) Message Board - 6th July 2011"I just have to say Phils book is the best book I have read about this evil addiction. Its very easy to read and will walk you and your family on ways to overcome everything we go through while trying to quit and staying gamble free." Mr Fletcher, Amazon 5 star recommendation - 3rd July 2011
Mr Mawer makes no bones about the fact he has the required, in-depth, experience to write such a book! He has also done something that, if not unique, is highly unusual; he has come up with an original way of looking at a common problem and finding an apparently simple and effective way of releasing the addict from their addiction. His book is structured logically to help the gambler work though the problem step by step, it is clearly written and therefore easily understood which is no small consideration given the distractions that the readers will be subject to whilst working through it. The process certainly works as Mr Mawer makes plain. I would not hesitate to recommend this book to anyone trying to gain release from their gambling affliction. Seize the moment and make a change now!
By Winningpost, Sat 02 Jul 2011, Posted at Gamcare ForumAn excellent read for anyone in doubt as to whether they are compulsive gamblers or not written by a down to earth author who like many of us on here suffered due to this illness. By Mikey H - Gamcare Forum - 29th April 2011I agree with that - for a fraction of how much would be spend in a single gambling session it is worth every penny. Tough going in parts, and makes me wish even more that I had a significant other in life, as a single lad it made me feel a bit left out through chunks of it, but helps me in my hating of machines, but ultimately very positive and a good help on the road to recovery. Read twice and I'm sure I'll read again. My brain works well to success stories proving that something is doable. It makes a massive difference to read all this from someone who has been there, probably far worse than I, but made it back bigger and stronger. So much more easy to buy into than reading text and help from generic 'gurus' that think they know best but ultimately can never know just what a monster gambling is, because they've never ventured more than a few quid on the lotto. By Seano - www.grasp-group.org.uk/forum- 10th April 2011Hi Phil, I have now read your book, I think it's a really excellent effort on both yours and your wife's part. I feel certain that the book will be of huge benefit to any Compulsive Gambler particularly at the very start of recovery,.....even in my case it has given me cause to review how I'm going to continue from here on in. I had stopped updating my recovery diary a fair while before our "bans", having realised that in the long term they actually have a negative effect (well I was starting to feel that way myself). The best thing I can say having read the book is that I have now banished all fear of my addiction. Seano. By Anne - www.grasp-group.org.uk/forum - 3rd April 2011I just finished reading Phils book and I have to say what an excellent easy read. It's one of those books that you can actually relate to and it seemed like the author is actually a friend who is giving you an advice on a personal issue that you probably would not even talk about with your closest friends let alone a stranger. The preface part explains questions on how, why and what the purpose is of creating this book. I really admire Phil and his wife for having the courage to create a rock bottom that enabled him to see what this addiction cost him financially which resulted to his personal issues. It also shows the power of having that partner/loved one/friend that will help you see this disease for what it is, and enable you to put proper barriers in place. There are 13 chapters and each chapter has a defined purpose and a recap at the end to just re-enforce what Phil is saying. Very clever and straight forward. I won't be going into details to what each chapter encompasses because it's better for each person to read it for themselves since we all have different methods of recovery and different gambling experiences. The first chapter though which deals with the phases of problem gambling is very enlightening. We've all gone through each phase, probably without us even being aware that we were there. The chapter explaining that indeed this is an illness that should be treated like one is very important. Hopefully if a CG's loved one/friend is reading that chapter they can now fully understand that this disease is just like any other illness that we have no control over. The Hay fever analogy is a very clever way of explaining that everyone is different and just because we have this illness it doesn't mean we are weaker than our friend that don't have this problem, it just means we have a different type of allergy and should avoid things that would cause an allergic reaction so to speak. My favorite chapter probably is the chapter about humility and compassion. I think from my own experience, I would say that helping other people and sharing advice and experiences about this addiction really helped me to stop for seven months now and still counting. My hatred for the irresponsible practices of this industry also fuels me to be a part of a group whose main goal is to change just that. Phil also mentions the importance of dealing with our urges and restoring our self dignity. All of these things are important to ensure that we stay stopped and continue to lead a gambling free life. He also discussed the cruel facts about these industry, especially animal cruelty, which is something that I wasn't well versed on because I never really indulge on any sort of that type of betting. Horrible to read all the facts to say the least. I just wanted to thank Phil for sharing this book with me. It's very helpful and really anyone can relate to. It really opened up my eyes that it wasn't just me that was going through all these experiences, most CG's do and we can beat this addiction! By Jackie Tempor - At Last - A book written that helped! 31, March 2011I am not a gambler and never have been, in fact the only gamble I have really taken is spending and mostly wasting money on books to try and help someone close to me beat their addiction. Like most gambles this has been a waste of my hard earned money even though I had a peak of excitment as the book was delivered and I read through it and the pang of disappointment when I realised I had just 'backed the donkey again'. This book to be honest seemed no different, after all how many people actually write a book to help others and not just look for some fat royalty cheques, I went through the motions of opening it and flicking through - suppose the only thing that stopped me adding it to my e-bay selling list was that I am a sucker for as true story and so I made an effort to read the book a chapter at a time. Quite quickly I was hooked (excuse the pun) and felt as if I could actually see things through the eyes of the writers wife (for him I didn't really care as he could give it up any time). I certainly changed this view as I read HER story and what he put others through, it seemed a mirror of my own experiences and for the first time I suppose I thought of this as an illness and one that maybe could be cured. How many people get fed up and give a cigarette to the smoker or a beer to the alcoholic and I was guilty of giving money ' as long as it wasnt used for gambling ' when I knew where it was going all along. Anyway - I made a promise of a day at the races if my partner read through the book with me and tried the system and on our third attempt it worked to the extent that that racing day just wasn't wanted. Amazing progress is being made and the 'chip of change' has made such a difference to me and those others affected by gambling but who have never placed a bet. With support your 'gambler' can do it too. It's no gamble - go on buy the book and get the system working. It's not easy but it is worth it. By Kay - It really works - 10, March 2011Ok to be honest I brought this book as a second thought, it was one of them, it will be like all the rest thoughts, but I gave it a go. As soon as I started reading it I felt, this is a man that understands. He is not telling you what to do or making you feel small, he really knows what he is talking about. I had been covering my addiction for years, telling half truths. But this gave me the courage I needed to come out with the truth not only to my family but to myself. If you want to stop, really want to stop, dont gamble on other books bye this one today, you won't be sorry. Kay www.grasp-group.org.uk/forumI just want to post something about Phils book. Up until about 2 weeks ago, I was struggling with anxiety that came on about 11pm. I don't know why as I didn't feel anxious about anything but since I've quit gambling my health has shown signs of strain due to the situation I'm in. Anyway I mentioned last night to my wife last, that like all things in our recovery, I got myself into this and I have to get myself out of it as no White horse is coming to save me. Lately I've not been getting my evening anxious spells, this could be down to being re-bailed, my situation with my mum being found out or it could be my evening read of a few pages of Phils book. I think what I'm trying to say is that I have skills/tools that I refer to if I'm in trouble. Kind of like the draw you have that's full of rubbish like celotape, tape measures, string for emergencies, I have a gambling draw of skills/tools that I can always go back and refer too. I was just sitting here getting a bit anxious and I got Phils book out. My wife had made a comment on our relationship being a total lie and I remember he put something about that and I needed to read it again so I could then speak to my wife. I had a situation, I went to my draw, and the situation was sorted and I'm not anxious anymore. I know I have to deal with this anxiety because it's my mind running away with me, but what I've been trying to say is that if like me you're building up a tool box/man draw to refer too, to help beat this addiction then...... Get the hammer/tape measure and buy Phils book. By Chris - Gamcare 22nd Jan 2011To all Just finished reading Philip Mawer’s new book - ‘Ovecoming Gambling’. For a true CG who REALLY wants to give-up for good, it’s all you need to know. End of! Easy to read. Wriiten in such a way as to help both the CG and his/her loved one(s)/family. Written by a recovered CG. Totally different in style and advice to any other self-help guide I have read previously or likely to read. You almost believe the book has been written especially for you, so accurate is the author’s analysis of what makes you gamble and what you must really do to stop for good. In my first, lengthy post back at the end of last November I could not have been more pessimistic about my quitting prospects, given my 40 year gambling history. After reading this book, I am now CERTAIN I can lick this. If this sounds like an advert - GOOD!!! We are bombarded all day and night long with adverts from the gambling industry. If you want to cut out all the bull, theory and hype about quitting and get authentic, practical and effective advice - get a copy, read it, re-read it and thank the stars it’s been written. By Kathleen - Gamcare 16th January 20115 star rating Reading about compulsive gambling is one of the hardest thing to bring yourself to do but what a breath of fresh air comes from the insight and hard hitting honesty that Philip Mawer and his wife share in this book. I've never read anything that gave me a better understanding of what drives us to that "Twilight Zone" of the vicious gambling circus, nor have I read anything more encouraging. For the first time in years I can breath. This has been a real book of enlightenment for me. Helping me to see what drives the compulsion and ways and how-to answers to come back to the person that my loved ones and I actually like. This a book of encouragement for the CG and for the exhausted, disheartened, loved ones of the CG. Kathleen By R Chandrarathne - "Invaluable insights into problems of compulsive gamblers and how to overcome them" posted in Sunday Observer - December 12th 2010"The book written in down-to-earth language presents a well-mapped out strategy to stop compulsive gambling" "offers among other things, a comprehensive outlook of the problem gambling, from a seasoned gambler who paid a heavy price for this social evil" "a must read for all those interested in issues relating to gambling and overcoming them" By Gertrude Wilkins - Sensible, Accessible help, 12 Dec 2010
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